


Fighting without the suit

by isa_belle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bi-derman if you will, But more like getting outed, Coming Out, Panic Attacks, Paparazzi, Paparazzi being invasive, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, peter is bi, the author is projecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 14:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isa_belle/pseuds/isa_belle
Summary: Peter is bi, and the paparazzi are hella invasive





	Fighting without the suit

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me projecting in the club
> 
> I should be writing stuff for Taking Hits but I was struck with divine inspiration so here's this.

_Snap... Flash... Snap Snap Snap... Flash_

  
_"Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker!"_

  
_Snap... Flash Flash Flash... Snap Snap... Flash_

  
_"Mr. Parker!"_

  
_Click... Flash... Click Click Click Click... Snap... Flash_

  
_"Mr. Parker is it true?"_

  
_"Mr. Parker can you confirm the rumors?"_

  
_"Mr. Parker, just a second of your time-"_

  
_"Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker!"_

  
_Click... Snap... Flash_

  
_"Mr. Parker is it possible that you-"_

  
_"Mr. Parker is it true that-"_

  
_"Mr. Parker! Can I ask a few questions about your-"_

  
_"Mr. Parker!"_

  
_SNAP_

  
_"Mr. Parker."_

  
_FLASH_

  
_"Mr. Parker?"_

  
_CLICK_

  
_"Mr. Parker!"_

  
_Snap Snap Snap Snap, Flash Flash Flash Flash, Click Click Click Click, Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker! Mr. Parker?_

  
The gentle shuttering of cameras is deafening. There's microphones coming at me from all angles, and people high pitched voices shuffle quickly around me, holding clunky cameras and beat up notepads, and taking pictures, thousands of pictures. Of nothing. Of everything. Like me walking is the most interesting thing in the world. Snaps and Flashes and Clicks set fire to my senses, burning holes through my eyes and ears and I flinch every time someone says my name. I grab onto Happy's arm and squeeze my eyes shut as we try to push through the crowd.  
_Snap... Click Click Click... Flash_  
There's a recorder held up to my mouth and a lady wearing chalky red lipstick has it in her neatly painted fingers.  
_Click... Snap Snap... Flash Flash Flash_  
She smiles wide and her face stretches slightly unnaturally. I try to side step her with a quiet, "Sorry." but she blocks my path, stepping in front of me with the kind of sick determination held only by paparazzi.  
"Mr. Parker, I'm sure you're aware of the rumors," she says, like its simple.  
_Snap... Flash...Click_  
That's a stupid thing to say. Yeah I've heard the rumors. Mr. Stark gets a notification every time my name shows up online. For the past three days all I've heard is rumors. The constant ding ding ding ding dingdingding _dingdingding_ ringing out from the lab computers has gotten to be so much that we had to mute it to get some sleep.  
"Yeah, I am, excuse me," I push past her, trying to weave my way through the cluster of people as reporters call.  
_"Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker!"_  
"Is it true that you identify as queer?"  
And that's the question of the week, isn't it? People are desperate to know. Like my life has anything to do with them. I feel a sort of anger bubble in my chest. Like loathing and exhaustion.  
"Mr. Parker," _SNAP_ , "Can you confirm the rumors that you are, in fact, a member of the LGBTQ+ community?"  
_Snap... Flash Flash Flash... Click._  
I want to run away. To push and shove my way through the endless sea of people armed with flashing cameras that's lenses are focused on me.  
"Mr. Parker!"  
I walk a little faster, ducking my head and saying, "please leave me alone," in a way that makes me sound rather pathetic. Like a kid who needs protecting. The anger rises. I ball my fists. I take quicker steps.  
"Mr. Parker, are you gay?"  
The question hangs in the air for a moment, at least in my mind. I pause and think, really think about it for a second. The anger bubbles over. I turn on a heel, to face the reporter who asked the question. He stares at me with beady eyes, face bent in a savage sort of hunger.  
"You know what?"  
_Snap... Flash... Click Click Click._  
Happy mutters out "kid" in warning but I pay him no mind.  
" _I am._ " And I watch as the crowd explodes into snaps and flashes and clicks and _Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker!_ and I scoff, because I'm not done.  
"okay? Is that-is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy?" voices have gone silent, I'm the only one who can be heard, one step below a yell, a raw tone in my voice that makes me want to stop and vomit all over the sidewalk. "Is that good enough for your-your stupid headlines? You got the winning story, _congratulations!_ "  
_Snap...Click...Flash_  
"Y'know? You're all..." I pause, trying to find my voice because it seems to have fled to the very back of my throat, settling there in a lump that makes it hard to push words out of my mouth as the cameras snap and flash. "monsters. All of you just. You don't know when to stop. You don't care-you don't care about anything real or organic. You just take what we give you and when there's none of that left, you steal."  
I try to look at them, look into their flashing cameras and their thirsty eyes. To drill my point in but I don't think they get it.  
"I think you forget," I say, honestly, watching as some people shift uncomfortably under my gaze but others thrive, almost making faces at me, "that people are people, we're not your property, we're not here for your entertainment. I live my life and its none of your business. My life isn't for you to know and investigate. Its mine. And this?" I gesture at the first reporter, my mouth spreading into a smile too bitter for someone my age to wear. "This was mine too. The whole coming out thing? Its personal, not that any of you would understand that. Tomorrow, when I read ever single one of your fucking articles, because _I will_ , I'm gonna cry and cry and cry because it _sucks_. I take it personally, because I'm 17. And I'm still gonna take it personally when I'm 100 because it shouldn't happen. This should've been my decision and it's disgusting that I have to tell a bunch of adults to fuck off it. I haven't even told my aunt yet."  
I exhale and my stomach sinks and my mouth falls open and my eyes widen and fill with frantic tears because _I haven't told my aunt yet_. And how fucked up is that? All these random people knew before she did. How's that fair? My breathing quickens and I physically flinch at the camera flashes. "oh god what am I gonna do?" I say, more to myself than anyone in the crowd but they're writing down every word that falls from my lips, every breath I take is being broadcast and live streamed for _so_ many people to see. I bring my hand to my face to shield my eyes from the brightness exploding around me. I pant and gasp for air as the cameras _Flash Flash Click Snap Flash Snap Click Click_ and Happy yells for everyone to stand back. " _Happy_ " I say, my voice sounding distant and watery. I'm vaguely aware of the tears streaking down my cheeks and getting all over my fingers as Happy puts and arm around me and pulls me through the crowd, practically growling at anyone who gets too close, but mumbling "c'mon kid," gently whenever he gets close to my ears. I want to hide. I want to curl up into a ball and never come out. I can't breathe and I think I might throw up because I've never felt more exposed. It's like a bad dream where I'm at school and realize I have no clothes. It's like fighting without the suit, the villain can see my fear, and my pain. And it makes me feel weak and dumb. I have no more defenses, no more walls to put up. Everyone already knows.  
Happy glances out at the crowd and lets out a low, " _rot in hell_ ," at all the paparazzi, voice dripping with venom.  
_Snap... Flash... Click_  
We finally get inside, and slam the door.  
_"Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker!"_  
I lean against the wall, breathing still unsteady, tears still pouring from my eyes, and I look up at Happy. He looks back with pity and my stomach churns with guilt and fear and hatred. I start sobbing.  
_I haven't told my aunt yet._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I don't really know how I feel about it. I sort of like it but I also sort of hate it. But I hope you enjoyed it! Please comment and boost my self esteem :)


End file.
